Oh the plight of my furry friends

I wore a long sleeve turtleneck shirt yesterday while gallivanting about. I just discovered it hiding in my closet, and decided that I'd give it a chance. I hadn't worn one in quite some time and thought it would be a good idea. However, I live in Miami and it's the middle of summer, so this is clearly not a good idea.
It started off okay, since I was indoors and not out in the fiery pits of fake paradise. But after about half an hour, my throat felt like it was starting to close up. I realized then, that wearing a turtleneck shirt was a bit like being constantly strangled. After a couple of hours, I was grappling at the terrible fabric on my neck and gasping for breath. By the end of the day, I remembered why I don't wear turtleneck shirts. Maybe it's okay for some people (masochists?) but not me. So when I got home, I searched my closet for the rest of them that were in hiding (I have two in total) and cut the neck parts off of them. I then had two turtlenecks which served no use. However, being a creative person, I cut two holes in one of them and made it into a sweater for Andy (cat). He doesn't like it.

The whole turtleneck incident reminded me of caterpillars. The fat furry kind that eat mom's flowers. My mother used to routinely go outside and pluck them off the plants. But I however, being a creative person and an all around pain in the neck, decided to go and put them back on the plants. note: caterpillars were my favorite animal when I was a kid, and probably still are. I felt bad for them, mainly because the fat furry ones looked like they were wearing turtleneck sweaters. I thought of how miserable their lives must be, having to wear those sweaters all the time. My logic was that they should at least be allowed to ruin some foliage during their miserable lives. That's what I would want to do anyway, if I were forced to wear those things all the time.